Movies are like time bombs. The clock is always against you. Everything must be done with precision and speed.
First, you have to get to the set with all the crazy equipment, frantic people and coffee that it takes to film a scene. Since we filmed a picnic scene in the hills, getting to the set wasn't easy. In my car, our driver drove - I'll put it simply - with no regard for anyone's life around him.
He, like many Italian drivers, has the sadistic propensity to cut to the inside of the narrow road when speeding around blind corners with joggers and bikers on the flanks. I kept reminding him that we are backstage personnel for a comedy movie, not stunt drivers in The Fast and the Furious. Maybe he didn't understand my english, but I'm pretty sure he accelerated.
Then you have to film the scene. But it's not like you just film it once. You film it so many times that you want to cry. Wait, try it from this angle. Hey, Carlo, move that piece of prosciutto two centimeters to the left. Bobby, can you please put your right knee over your left leg and not your left leg over your right knee, like we discussed? Alessandra, you look perfect, but I think we need a little more powder on your left earlobe.
And then, there's the swooping bird of prey that the movie industry calls the boom mike. The light looks great, the lines funny, the scenery gorgeous...almost done with the last line, and...CUT BOOM! Yes, the boom mike just dipped in the frame to say hello and inform the directors that they are screwed. (The boom mic operator is a very hard job, though, since you have to hold a 30-foot wizard's wand just over the actors' head and pray it doesn't enter the frame. Props Jimmi...you are the man.)
Of course the sun is also against you. You want an afternoon scene? Well, shoot it during the afternoon. If the light changes significantly before the scene is done, go back to Bologna and tell the producer you'll need another day to shoot the scene. No, no...go tell him. It can't be that expensive. I'm sure he'll understand.
Oh yeah, and bees. Bees swarmed the picnic right after the scenographers set it up. Bobby and Alessandra Mastronardi weren't too keen to do their scene while being stabbed by living barbs. So, the crew set up a plate of jam, meat and fruit about twenty feet away from the picnic to attract the bees there. It kinda worked, until a thick cloud of swarming insects emerged from the woods anyway to eat the food and get a cameo in the process.
Yet, here in AmeriQua the bomb squad just keeps on pulling it off. The scene, for all its challenges, came out beautifully. Bravi!
Photos:
1) Bobby and Alessandra wish for peace in the world.
2) Sacha Cesana and Giulio Tarantino helpfully do nothing.
3) The crew.
4) Bobby's job is demanding here?
5) Bobby, Alessandra and a parasol.
6) Emilia Romana countryside.
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